他還喜歡我嗎? Does She/ he still love me?

這是正在戀愛的人經常會頭痛的問題。跟我同年齡的同學到現在有的已經早婚了，而絕大部分的人到目前為止也都曾經歷過有一段長的感情，而且經常也碰到了最關鍵的時候，不少人在這個時候還是以分手收場。

Well, it is probably a perplexity that people being in love usually have. Some of my classmates the same old as me have been married early, and most of the others nearly have experienced at least one long-term relationship so far. It is now about a crucial period for them. However, not a few people of my friends unluckily broke up after all.

我的幾個女性同學也不太美滿的遇到這些事情，而且她們的男方是不理不睬，或是出言不慎傷害女生，讓女生難以接受。我還有親戚他們倆原來感情很好，沒想當因為唸書分隔兩地之後出乎意外的結束掉感情
Recently, some female old classmates of mine also had this kind of matters. They felt sad because their boy friends end up their relationship with emotionless attitude, or even hurt them with offensive language. I have a relative; she and her boyfriend both had firm affection for each other. Surprisingly, they ended up love lately because she is now studying in other country.


的確，影響交往失敗或成功的因素很多，不過關於男生對女生失去興趣這個部分，我最近在我自己的生理及心理上面做探索，發現我一樣也是有顯在的男性天生物化傾向，我的意思是
It is true that many factors would cause the love relationship fail. However, as to the part that a man lost his interest to a woman, recently I made some explorations about myself in physiology and psychology level and I found that I am also have a male native sexual objectification. What I mean is:


把異性在我的意識中某種程度上的物化
Images of women are somewhat sexualized with objectification in my subconscious

最明顯的物化性格大概從兩方面解釋
The apparent characteristics probably could be explained from two aspects:


1. 像是物品般，喜新厭舊。不少男人大概都有的經驗：看到電影名星美女經常想說…假如只要我能夠跟他的話，我一定一輩子愛著他而滿足，但是為什麼那些曾經跟這些美女交往過的男士們不但也就把她們甩掉了，而且心理上也覺得那些女孩其實也一般般？（我在隱射周董嗎：）
1. Treating them like a stuff; people like a new stuff but dislike the old one. I guess many men have such an experience: when seeing a very beautiful movie star or singer, they have a thought that I would love only her in my life and feel very satisfied if she is my girlfriend. But… why some men who had been dated with those beautiful women not only threw such wonderful babes away but also felt those women were not that perfect in their mind?


2. 功用性: 對特定人的連結少，對功能的連結強，難怪男生外遇較多。而且當生理上需求被滿足時，男生有時候突然心裡會感覺空空蕩蕩，難怪有些人做完以後翻個身就睡著了。
2. Purpose and Function. Men’ brain consider by the mode that try to link specific people less but make strong links with function. Maybe it is a cause men have more extramarital relations. It is discovered that not a few men feel empty while their physiology needs are satisfied, then just sleep on the bad after sex.


當然我絕對不是說一個男人對一個女人的感情只有物化的成分在，絕對也有情感的因素在裡頭，只是....或許沒有女生那麼多。 天底下人那麼多，有各式各樣的情況，並沒有要在此打筆戰的意思。再說，這也不是男生都很壞的問題，我們也不是故意的呀，哈...要怪就去怪基因吧
Sure, I absolutely don’t think that a man only have the attitude of objectification to a woman. That is wrong. A man if he likes a woman, he has the affection and unique emotion to her. There are so many people and each man is so different, therefore it is not that meaningful to argue that why men are so bad. It is not a question of bad or good men are. That is men’s behavior by instinct. Hahaha… could we blame on male’s gene?


就男生而言能做的就是盡量用心，避免傷對方心那要避免傷心的方法其中很重要的就是不要在不對的時間太過深入交往，交往越深要脫離就更需要付出代價。
In fact, we, being human, can learn acquired behavior. What men can do is to date a girl honestly, and try to not hurt them. I think an important thing here is not to go out too deeply in the wrong time, because if we both have so deep and strong relationship and dependence, we need to pay a big price to end up this relationship.


婚前性關係在21 世紀早已不是禁忌，但是我認為，假如某人是想要把另一個人當作是很認真的對象來交往的話，應該要盡可能把親密關係的時間點盡量延後。此點見仁見智。我個人覺得交往就像拆禮物，當你還在拆包裝紙時你的心跳仍然持續的加速，而當你看到禮物時，你的心跳就將從最高峰開始下降了。
Having sex before marriage has been no longer a taboo for a long period in the 21st century; nevertheless, I think it is much better to prolong the time point for extremely close touch as possible as you can if you see your relationship more serious. Of course, it depends on different opinions. In my opinion, dating is like the process to open a gift. People’s heartbeat speed up continuously when opening a gift, and after you know what the gift is, it is the time your heart jump sound are going to slow down.


我有個好笑的想法....也許下次約會時女生要求男生約會前在家裡『解決』一下再來赴約會是個好主意。我猜以女生敏感的直覺，一定能夠察覺到你男朋友在少了生理上的驅動外，他對你的真實情感如何。不要笑！也許這對男生也是一個好機會，說不定能夠藉此察覺你到底是喜歡這個女孩的哪些特質，還是發現，原來你根本不喜歡她？！
I have a funny idea. Maybe it’s a good idea that on next time dating, women can ask for their boy friends to “solve” the needs by themselves at home and then go dating. I guess by women’s sensitive observation, they can feel and know that how much your boyfriend love you out from original physiological drive. Don’t laugh~~. Maybe it is a good chance for men who can find out what reasons you love her or how you like your girlfriend’s personality. Do you love her? Or you suddenly feel that you don’t like her at all ?!